Being Dad/ IED’s

This blog is not only about working out, the TV show, my opinion on life but also being about a new father and husband. I have a lot of funny stories already about my baby girl, with that said I will share one.

In Afghanistan we are trained how to spot and handle IED’s (Improvised Explosive Devices). They are very dangerous and a favorite weapon of the insurgents to implement and use against coalition forces and cause devastating injuries. I did walk by an IED once but thankfully the rains a few days prior exposed it so nothing came of it. I was one of the fortunate ones that made it home 100% unscathed.

So I come home and I thought I had heard the last of IED’s. Well I have, the explosive bomb ones. I can now say that I have been hit by an IED compliments of my daughter. (I.E.D) in daddy terms is Infant Explosive Diarrhea <- that is now trademarked by the way. Yes, infant’s have explosive diarrhea and upon one of my first days having her home she got me. I have seen some nasty stuff being a corpsman but a butt explosion like that is not something you want coming your way.

A tip of advice for you new parents. Once you remove a diaper, have a new diaper or baby wipe covering their butt ready to deflect the explosive down into the old diaper or into a chux pad. This has worked so far, and since I have implemented this new strategy have only received minor shrapnel from these explosions. I hope this helps you avoid the wrath of the Infant Explosive Diarrhea and if you have a special technique you use please post comments because another method of avoiding these poop bombs would be greatly taken to heart.

3 Responses To  “Being Dad/ IED’s”
  • abbra

    From the pro… put the clean diaper under the dirty. Open dirty diaper have wipes ready and clean with dirty still there. Once clean pull dirty out and pull up clean and there ya go. If she starts to go again you still have the dirty diaper under so u don’t waste a clean diaper! Let me know if it works :)

  • Talon

    Abbra,
    That is genius! We are going to try that here soon! She has a knack for when we are changing and immediately pee + poop! My mom said it was pay back! Tell Kraig I said hello! If we are on the East Coast any time soon we will try to get together! Or if you all are ever out here!

    Give the family our best,
    Talon

  • Brea

    Talon,
    Be thankful you have a little girl! Yes, you have to deal with the IED’s but with boys, they LOVE to pee on you! I’m not a mother yet myself, but as the youngest of 8 kids, I’ve been around children my whole life :) I became an aunt at 5, and just 2 weeks ago, became a great aunt and I’m not quite 25!
    As far as averting disasters in the future, always have another diaper ready and waiting :) Always keep her covered up, even during clean up! I’ve dealt with it all in the past 20 years! It was actually how I got into medicine myself and became an Army Combat Medic and future nursing student. There’s nothing I’ve not seen and/or cleaned up.

    Good luck and God bless! I know you’ll do that lil girl proud :) Congratulations

    -Brea

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